As a sort of numbness creeps with this tangible darkness that is passing, it felt as though all was lost as it should be with this shedding of skins. I had forgotten how much struggle is involved with this dance, for when the struggle resides deep in the very foundation there is no escape nor reprieve…death is inevitable. It is not the final one, we die many many deaths. In cycles our skins are shed and by times the examination of the rotting remains becomes a consuming appetite. Those are decent times when my mind can meander and have fun with the notion that I created this debris with living. The dying cells with birth beneath them.

To die is to live without any expectation, to accept this change and enter into a void of life with no memory of it’s beauty. As I breathe in this place of bitter belonging, slowly letting go of all the emotions that crest and crash upon my heart. A withdrawal from all the lies that were somehow enveloped as truth, the crutches and shadows. The darkness as velvet and beautiful as it can be is also a place where there is nowhere to hide. This darkness of mind supported by the season, dredging the emotional archives again for all that has been released this time round. What moldy rags from the past shall I uncover… I am surprised at what falls out of the pockets, a shining thing form 1995. It has no baggage, only a pure radiating energy of complete belief in painting, in creativity as a force.

It transports me to place of such ease and belonging in my skin. The memory of free flowing connection with the world in trust that was so complete it guided my soul. That kind of trust is beautiful and powerful to the point of being intoxicating. Trusting the truth of beauty that my heart sees, making a place for innocence. A place to really listen to the silence, knowing ancient songs are playing. Peace found in the precious silence of a beating heart, a primal nature waiting there. It covers the place with hope and resurrection. Emerging from the stillness each new thing has its wonder.

3 Responses to “Darkness”

  1. Becky Watson Says:

    I am right there with you. Thank you for expressing this. Exactly how I feel right now. The beauty in your expression is uplifting; intoxicating. Xxoxoxoxo B

  2. Beautiful… Beautifully written, poetic. Thank you, for sharing your innermost feelings, it takes courage. X

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