Belonging

Posted in Spirituality on December 11, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

It is a beautiful, almost full Autumn Moon… So huge she was as this dusky disc rose into the night sky. I was filled with a wonder that has not left me, it reminded me of who I am at the truth of things. Feeling my kin close and free, they are riding tonight, this fact written in the sky—a clear rider on the clouds, riding a great big mythical creature. Yeats inevitably came to my heart… “We will give you rest far from men. Is there anything better, anything better? Tell us it then!” Mmmmm… The spirit remains immortal and the flesh decays so I soared to Sidhe Beag, Slieve Erin and here I sit once again on Sidhe Mor. All that trust and magic welling up in me, pronouncing it is time to sit with rock and earth and tree on the mountain. My sense of belonging suddenly strikingly full and overflowing! I can feel them all around this night, I feel so loved by them that words do little justice to the deep sense of joy that dwells with me from them, visions beyond description. I see the presence moving with the cloud, my marks lie waiting as I look from home. I knew they would come in time…as the hawthorn grows wild in the garden I knew they would come. Then again maybe I was simply blinded by denial of the present, always living in the future denying the moment, the now! How crazy does that sound! Silly business when I think about it, what a waste…breeding misery along the way.

Cave Dweller

Cave Dweller

Looking for Healing

Posted in Self-awareness on December 8, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

Looking for healing with a blindfold lately it feels… Pulling out the choke to get the fire going again in my belly with this intangible dank that weighs heavy on my mind, clouding places that were clear…  An illusion of clutter that does not really exist, a reflection of the state of the country that no one can escape … could make one feel like a cartoon trapped inside a box, jumping up and down, hitting it’s head again and again against the top to no avail. And there the cartoon may remain for a long time to come, with the odd walking of the plank to relieve the monotony!

Now to the business of banishing outside so that the inside may become more visible… Here is a place where one can become adapt at dodging and reforming the boundaries, here there is no need of frustration. In fact the whole time could be spent in acceptance and positivity, in curiosity and joy imagine that! With a flick of a switch I am on faery time.

Later, waking in the dark… The mere thought of the quiet dark wakes me more, silence but for the tapping of the keys, no distraction on the path except of course the mind itself ! I come once again to the notion of responsibility, of focusing the wild Rarr energy. My stumbling block is the vague belief that this focusing will some how diminish the wildness of the energy… My philosophy has always been go with the flow, now I must use the current to get on rather than standing in it, using precious energy to stand still in the flow. It is rather hilarious really, me stubbornly still amongst the flow, maintaining that I am searching for freedom while my feet sink deeper into the silt. The notion of using the canoe that is tethered here, bobbing on the surface has been covered with doubt and decisions. Years of distrust had weighed that canoe down closer to the silt than the surface. Although from the mirky depths light’s diffused nature shines resplendent. Under water was a place where I felt safe, sure that I could stay longer than any other. I was alone and silenced to breathing. The inside world becomes outside, energy carried with ease through the water—thoughts setting up house and moving furniture. Like a sea creature finding safety on the ocean floor, looking up through the layers of traffic, predators and bait in a seemingly peaceful co-existence —until it isn’t. A flash of movement and the color of the water changes while life ingests life.

Life devouring itself, constantly birthing anew. So feet in the silt or no change and movement are the very tenants of life. Constantly in motion, hurtling through space time… We are not safe from destruction… It is inevitable, it is transformation as energy is indestructible … it simply becomes something other.

An isolated limb having a whole other experience  to the rest of the body, when it returns to tactile contact there is a separation, a difference that hurries to be one with the whole. Like an idea this newness fades quickly into familiarity, but that does not make the experience any less precious, for it is the challenge to hold on to that wonder… An idea that shines brightly and beautifully is meant to be protected against the mundane attitude. To be the breath behind the waves, feeling that awesome raw power,  knowing that sometimes it is advantageous to have ones feet sunk in the earth!

The Wind Has Come

Posted in Self-awareness on September 24, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

In the wee hours the wind has come and the moon now I look upon again with a little wonder of time… It is actually full on the exact time of the Equinox… I had always assumed that the full moon heralded the Equinox.

So so beautifully stormy, like we are getting a taste of the monsoon season here… It is powerful, dramatic and so gently beautiful in it’s hues… Love listening to the wind as she shakes what will be shaken. And the smell of the Ocean out here, the fragrant air that carries scents of change on the warm current is my nourishment.