Archive for December, 2010


Posted in Creativity, Self-awareness on December 25, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

The longest night brings memories of things that were sacred and shared. Ideas racing through my head, bits and pieces of memory, of places, of states of mind and the strength of spirit. My desire to deeply be in expression of this Druidic time of year lulled me to a deep and long sleep. I must laugh at that serious effort to stay awake enough to write, of course it was futile. The velvety dark had one big embrace for me, in the realm of dreams. Now in retrospect I see how poetic it was to sleep with the darkness, surrendering to it. Just as the clouds surrender to the wind moving in the night sky, throwing shapes around the moon.

I am finding more comfort and trust in the dark again, pushing past foreign fears and walls that have no substance. Stepping ever closer to empowerment. Even in the sadness I am beginning to feel again. It drags until it is picked up! Learning to gather up one’s own hungry children seems to be an extension of that feeling. A sadness lingers in the living memory of past experience. And sometimes I feel like I have lost all my tools to rust and decay, so I begin again with my hands. Again the cycle begins, allowing freedom to thrive more and more with the confidence that has been built.

Creative Force

Posted in Creativity on December 15, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

Remembering in torrents of ecstasy as I go into trust and find myself in the middle of all that muck and blood. Creating color with the evidence of what went before on the brush…beginning to embrace the trust of the palette and it is over running me with sheer joy in the act of creation. I am in the same freedom that has been my timeless refuge…a place that my past and future self shall dwell. That messy place where all is possible, sculpting beauty because it is truth. Connecting the eye and the hand with all the potential I know to be waiting just beneath the surface. But the wound must be fresh, so one must feel the discomfort and pain of decision or indecision as the case may be. What lies beneath must be uncovered for our true nature is blindingly vast and exquisite.

The Eternal moment chosen over the disposable now, by whatever means it requires. There is no point in applying logic to this place, there is no order as it is perceived up on the disposable level. My numbers fell away as the color became the more seductive option. But they brought me here and they are the beginning before color takes sway. There is a chance for much growth in the nine intimate one . They are so much like sketches in paint in the way of their working. I am moving through them with freedom now…like a humming bird flitting from delicate beauty to delicate beauty, aware of it’s joy and full of the gratitude of life.

I feel so blessed in this freedom…which comes with much more intensity and frequency, the closer I am to flowing truth the deeper my knowing of it goes. There is still much to remember and much joy to distill! Being fueled by the thoughts of the next layer and it’s alchemy, driving me ever on into the deepened layers of being. On returning to the mundane, it is filled with crystal beauty…love shining like  the precious substance it is…




Posted in Spirituality on December 11, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

It is a beautiful, almost full Autumn Moon… So huge she was as this dusky disc rose into the night sky. I was filled with a wonder that has not left me, it reminded me of who I am at the truth of things. Feeling my kin close and free, they are riding tonight, this fact written in the sky—a clear rider on the clouds, riding a great big mythical creature. Yeats inevitably came to my heart… “We will give you rest far from men. Is there anything better, anything better? Tell us it then!” Mmmmm… The spirit remains immortal and the flesh decays so I soared to Sidhe Beag, Slieve Erin and here I sit once again on Sidhe Mor. All that trust and magic welling up in me, pronouncing it is time to sit with rock and earth and tree on the mountain. My sense of belonging suddenly strikingly full and overflowing! I can feel them all around this night, I feel so loved by them that words do little justice to the deep sense of joy that dwells with me from them, visions beyond description. I see the presence moving with the cloud, my marks lie waiting as I look from home. I knew they would come in time…as the hawthorn grows wild in the garden I knew they would come. Then again maybe I was simply blinded by denial of the present, always living in the future denying the moment, the now! How crazy does that sound! Silly business when I think about it, what a waste…breeding misery along the way.

Cave Dweller

Cave Dweller

Looking for Healing

Posted in Self-awareness on December 8, 2010 by Naomi Brosnan

Looking for healing with a blindfold lately it feels… Pulling out the choke to get the fire going again in my belly with this intangible dank that weighs heavy on my mind, clouding places that were clear…  An illusion of clutter that does not really exist, a reflection of the state of the country that no one can escape … could make one feel like a cartoon trapped inside a box, jumping up and down, hitting it’s head again and again against the top to no avail. And there the cartoon may remain for a long time to come, with the odd walking of the plank to relieve the monotony!

Now to the business of banishing outside so that the inside may become more visible… Here is a place where one can become adapt at dodging and reforming the boundaries, here there is no need of frustration. In fact the whole time could be spent in acceptance and positivity, in curiosity and joy imagine that! With a flick of a switch I am on faery time.

Later, waking in the dark… The mere thought of the quiet dark wakes me more, silence but for the tapping of the keys, no distraction on the path except of course the mind itself ! I come once again to the notion of responsibility, of focusing the wild Rarr energy. My stumbling block is the vague belief that this focusing will some how diminish the wildness of the energy… My philosophy has always been go with the flow, now I must use the current to get on rather than standing in it, using precious energy to stand still in the flow. It is rather hilarious really, me stubbornly still amongst the flow, maintaining that I am searching for freedom while my feet sink deeper into the silt. The notion of using the canoe that is tethered here, bobbing on the surface has been covered with doubt and decisions. Years of distrust had weighed that canoe down closer to the silt than the surface. Although from the mirky depths light’s diffused nature shines resplendent. Under water was a place where I felt safe, sure that I could stay longer than any other. I was alone and silenced to breathing. The inside world becomes outside, energy carried with ease through the water—thoughts setting up house and moving furniture. Like a sea creature finding safety on the ocean floor, looking up through the layers of traffic, predators and bait in a seemingly peaceful co-existence —until it isn’t. A flash of movement and the color of the water changes while life ingests life.

Life devouring itself, constantly birthing anew. So feet in the silt or no change and movement are the very tenants of life. Constantly in motion, hurtling through space time… We are not safe from destruction… It is inevitable, it is transformation as energy is indestructible … it simply becomes something other.

An isolated limb having a whole other experience  to the rest of the body, when it returns to tactile contact there is a separation, a difference that hurries to be one with the whole. Like an idea this newness fades quickly into familiarity, but that does not make the experience any less precious, for it is the challenge to hold on to that wonder… An idea that shines brightly and beautifully is meant to be protected against the mundane attitude. To be the breath behind the waves, feeling that awesome raw power,  knowing that sometimes it is advantageous to have ones feet sunk in the earth!